A day for whatsapp messages and that too nostalgic ones. The first one had photographs of wonderful things from our childhood, which included a telephone, one of those round, black dial ones. It's been so long that I can't even remember what they're called! Another said, "If You Grew Up In The 80s ..." and listed things that we did and yet another one said, “Nothing Can Beat This Childhood”!
And it got me thinking. Was it really as wonderful as we believe it was? Was it really way cooler than today?
Because for starters, making an international phone call was damn difficult. I remember that my parents were stressed when it would take hours to connect a "trunk call" to my Bhua in California, if it did at all. Now, my 93 year-old Dad talks to the same Bhua every day, and, that too on a video call!
"We played outside" -- no, not all of us. I did. My bookworm sister sat on the same sofa for hours reading book after book. I know that’s considered a quality or a skill these days but it smashes that “we all played outside” theory to pieces.
"We took off our 'school clothes' as soon as we got home and put on our ‘home’ clothes'." This one brought back memories of sweaty shirts in the summer and cold legs in the winter. Delhi School classrooms can get very hot in the summer and who liked wearing the scratchy stockings that were a part of the winter school uniform.
"We didn’t have Amazon Prime or Netflix, we had only one channel to watch, Doordarshan!!!" And so, we hardly knew what was happening in the world and our view of events everywhere including our own country was coloured by what the government led us to watch. Ask any journalist worth her salt and she will tell you how painful the constraints were! I dislike the shouting journalists and some of the visuals on the news channels these days as much as the next person but it's much better than no news or only news about the PM's day (yes, yes, some channels still do that but ...)
"We waited for gifts from overseas especially chocolates etc etc etc”. Yes and also spent so much time and energy in trying to figure out how to procure sports equipment which was not available at any price. It could only be imported. Now, it's a click away.
"Music was heard via vinyl records or by recording music on cassettes" and we were therefore either exposed to what our parents liked or what we could afford to borrow or buy. The easy availability of music has bridged the gap between countries, between the have and have-nots and between generations. Isn’t it amazing that we have K-Pop in India, Bollywood music in Paris and a Sri Lankan song going viral all over the world...and this applies to cinema, art and travel too.
One WhatsApp message said, "Bottled water was luxury, we drank it straight from the tap. Even at a train station”. This is great for someone like me because I hate bottled water and have a strong stomach for the tap-stuff but for others it's a nightmare. Is it any wonder that such a large percentage of the Indian population suffer from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome .. and my prudish editor just fainted).
Another one said, "We watched our mouths and behaved or our parents would give us something to cry about!” Honestly, giving us something to cry about is why half our generation needs therapy!!
Yes, playing Antakshari when the electricity went was great fun but the heat and mosquitoes of those nights weren’t.
“Family ties and friendships were deeper”. Really? I met my cousins, aunts and uncles who lived in different cities/countries once every couple of years and hardly spoke with them while family chats these days ensure that I know what’s cooking in my sister-in-law’s house and what my nephews wore to the New Year's Eve party (One is in New York and the other is in Pune). I’ve even reconnected with the same cousins and constantly bore them with my Paris videos. Zoom birthday parties, school groups, Facebook have not only reconnected people but have kept the friendships going. At my wedding sangeet, my Dad's best friend and one of my favourite people, Inder Uncle, and I walked into the venue together. He hadn't seen me in years and when I said"Hi Inder Uncle", I got a weak "Hello beta". I remember laughing and saying, "Inder Uncle, it’s me Urvashi!" (And no, the make-up did not make me look like a witch or a Noor Pari). Fortunately that won’t happen when I go to my friend’s son’s wedding in December. Let alone the groom and “our” side of the wedding party, I’ll probably be able to recognise the bride’s family from all the photographs that my friend has been sharing.
So often I hear the phrase “those simpler times”. But getting foreign exchange when you travelled was a pain, getting good lingerie was like winning the lottery and public transport was, pretty much non-existent! So, how were they simpler times? Isn’t it like saying that an illiterate man is a “simple” man?!
So was our childhood a disaster - no, not at all! It was great. Pretty awesome actually, we had loads of fun. Our circumstances and experiences made us strong, resilient and at the same time flexible but it just seems so odd that as we get older everything in the past is viewed with rose-tinted glasses and everything today or in the future has a hard frame of reality.
Maybe the answer lies in Rabbi’s song 'Gill Teh Guitar'
milya kal ek raahi mainu
kahnda gal sun meri tu khol kan
jado na kuch age dise
tahiyo banda vekhe pichhe
I met a traveller yesterday
He said, listen to me carefully,
When you can't see anything ahead
you turn to see what's gone by
Surely, if we keep looking back, we will fall into that ditch but if we look ahead, we just might avoid it. Having said that, the Balushahis when my grandfather was alive were something else and nothing we get now comes close to them…