Around my 41st birthday, I went to visit my sister in Mumbai. And for a change, I agreed to try a new restaurant. I don't usually have enough number of meals to allow me to try something new. After all, I don't want my old haunts to feel neglected.
But I deviate from my story. So we went to this fine dining Molecular Gastronomy restaurant, and while the food wasn't particularly tasty the presentation was great. What with foamy desserts and sizzling sticks - Indian food looked funky and fascinating.
And then it happened. A big bowl with one small mint was placed before me. I thought, " Oh well, nothing unusual about this except that Indian restaurants don't usually have individual helpings of mouth fresheners"and picked up the mint and in one stroke popped it into my mouth. Just as I did so my sister exclaimed " what are you doing?" and the startled waiter reached out to me. Too late, it was in my mouth and immediately out of it. Only, it wasn't a mint. It was a napkin! The waiter having recovered from my faux par poured water over it, and the mint grew into a lovely wet wipe type of napkin. At this point I burst into a loud guffaw, my sister giggled and my brother-in-law shaking his head smiled indulgently.
If this had happened to me in my teens, I would have been mortified, in my twenties, embarrassed and in my thirties very self-conscious of my mistake. I don't think I would have thought of it as a really funny incident nor would I have related it to my children.
I honestly don't know what it is, but there seems to be a sense of freedom for lack of a better word to describe the 4th and 5th decade of my life.
I vacillate between going without a speck of make-up or lots of it. And when I do use it, it's reds and bright pinks for me - after all, I need it more now than ever before. There is a desire to be slim and fit, but it ceases to obsess me - might have something to do with the fact that I can now afford to buy clothes that are well cut. But, it could also have to do with the fact that I have accepted the reality that I like. It's more like love, food too much to ever be able to make the sacrifices required to be a size 0. Having said this, I'm still obsessive about my nails and can't bear to see them chipped or rough. After all, I've discovered "free will" not achieved Nirvana (Thank god! but then that's another discussion for another time )
The desire to learn and study is greater today than ever before. Saying " I don't know" is so much easier as is admitting that you vaguely remember who Jane Goodall is (saw some documentaries on Doordarshan years ago but nothing since). And while opinions are stronger (and more vociferous) than ever before, the desire for all and sundry to adhere to them isn't as crucial.
All this makes me wonder how I got here. Is it just an age thing? Is it experience? Or is it upbringing? Is it an indication of changing society or an age old reality?...............................